Was I Loved or Used !!

I turned up 21 this November but im not happy of that everyone celebrate when they turn 21 but I didn’t coz I was far away frm my home far away frm everyone who was the important chapter in my life.

I was in a relation with a guy since 5yrs we used love each other ,care for each other , was so much crazy about eachother I was that much crazy about that guy that I never made a fren in my college time everytime I used roam around wid him only him , none can believe that I had got no frenz at all, he was everything for me everything I was so much deeply in love wid him that I used to cheat my parents and go out wid him coz my family were against our love he used to love me so badly that when someone wants to talk with me he used to be jealous.

I was entire world for him and so he was but one day everything shattered.. everything.... From that day he used to behave me differently as if I don’t exist I thought that it was just my feeling but it was the reality we started quralleling used to argue in small small things like this our relation started becoming worst he used to enjoy with his crap frens rather than me our relation was being weaker and weaker day by day now those love were turning slowly to hatred now those trust were disgarded. I was dumped, felt like I was being used so badly. But I did a blunder when I ask him to help me out he showed me his back, when I was in need of him he threw me away then I came to know he was just using me nothing more than that. I started ignoring him .

Thank god it wasn’t too late I gather all my guts and walk ahead their was person who helped me out. He comforted me, adviced me and supported me a lot never thought that I'd get help frm someone like him to take me out from that problem. I really can’t forget him, the one who used to say that he loves me a lot he never did coz when I was in need he walked away like a looser when he broke up wid me to tell the truth I was very happy though my heart couldn’t resist the departure if I hadn’t gone to this phase I would have surely loved him as I did and he left me he run away like a looser, thank god, I wasn’t too far in his love or he would have left me in the middle of ocean and I would ve been of nowhere but Im happy that i can still sail back and get a new boat to sail on.

I wasn’t being able to believe that he dumped me it was being hard for me to face myself my parents. I wasn’t being able to explain my pains also then I decided to move away. I chose to come here. God how could I come here alone with none’s supports??? None can believe that I came to Australia all alone no frenz at all and guess what no nepali people in my journey also I gather all my guts and came here to study hospitality coz I was keen interested in this subject came here alone struggle a lot missed my parents a lot.

The one who helped me to heal those pains used to be in touch with me actually he was my best frens’s fren he used to call me mail me saying not to be upset not to feel alone I also used to feel comfortable with him, talking with him makes me feel better than one day he proposed me I was shocked knowing all those craps also he’s ready to accept me I ask him do he know wat he’s doing he replied yes but I’m still confused what to do now it isn’t that I dont love him but I m afraid of my past I don’t no what to do, finally said yes but I’m still confuse why he want to be a part of me knowing all the truth he loves me a lot but am afraid if he’ll also leave me like that guy did .God can’t be rude to me every time thinking about this I put my step ahead .